"The man who invented buying water is a very dangerous man"

before I get to Cork, I will immediately begin by saying that you should all be jealous that you have never been to the Cliffs of Moher. They were one of the most stunning things I have ever seen in my life.

anyway

CORK- by josh (and Brandon)

Background story-We sent a request to a man named James and accidentily called him Stephen, he still accepted and wrote about how stephen lives on his shoulder.. obviously he sounded awesome.

So, we arrive in Cork and have no idea how to get to his place and the phone lines aren't working. We finally find the street he lives on and walk down it (obviously). After several minutes of frustrated journeying we are approached by an irishman. "Where ye lad's looking fer?" ...
"um we're trying to find -"
"Why dont you rub my head?"

Brandon rubs (hesitantly)

"right then, thats a wee bit of luck fer ye.. right this way lads" ...... as he leads us away from his house. By this point we know that its James, although he hasn't introduced himself.

I mention Stephen and we immediately turn around with his remarks being " oh.. you just said something there"

"so"-

" NO QUESTIONS" as he kicks a brick wall......... we're not sure whats going on (and slightly terrified)

We go up to his appartment (which is number "0" because the "1" was taken off of the "10") and he talks to us for a while in a language that is only somewhat remniscent of english because his accent is so thick...

" You two seem like smart lads, eat and drink all you want, I'm going for a bit of work."

"When do you get off work?"

"What?" LONG PAUSE "I haven't worked in years."

"When will you be back?"

"You won't be seeing me again," he says.

He leaves.......


Now brandon and I are pretty confused now and now, now, we aren't quite sure what sort of cows there are in the Burren. It's Freesian cows lads. (In case you didnt understand this last sentence (because why would you?), it is in reference to our cliffs of moher tour guide, who loved to use the word "now")

........... OBVIOUSLY Brandon and I are in disagreement as to how to tell a proper story, you bitch. I think it's more fun to keep the readers guessing rather than to pamper them and not leave them to think about what yer saying lad. ( )

Anyway, we arent quite sure if we can trust this guy (If I were travelling alone I would've been long gone), if this appartment is even his (no photos, except for holographic images of wolves and snowmen), or how to lock the door. You see, we werent sure if he was high out of his mind (or just....something else...Josh is pretty convinced he is a Leprechaun). So we find some keys, drink a beer, eat a few cold meat pies and leave, after an hour of deliberating and nearly shitting our pants.

As we are walking down the street, who do we see walking down the street but James.

Theres more banter.... and then

Brandon- how long have you lived in Cork?

James-Define lived

Brandon-.......... have you been here since you were Born?

James- I'm alive every moment I'm not asleep.

Josh- Aren't you alive when you're asleep?

James-Good (he does some crazy hand gesture that we become very familiar with over the next 24 hours)

Josh-.. Ok well how long has your physical body existed?

James points at a patch of leaves that fell from a tree and rest gently on the sidewalk " Well thats my placenta there." He grabs a flower, " I should pay tribute" He places the flowers in his placenta... "But those leaves weren't there 20 minutes ago so what does that tell you?"

So at this point, we've figured out that he's trying to open our eyes to things that are relatively obvious (while at the same time calming us down in a way...making us realize that is just how he rolls). Saying things like, "What are cars but empty shells?" or " Why are we going this way? its cuz there are arrows on the road."(I HATE that you just wrote "cuz"...It's "cause"....a shortened version of "because") --- yeah well at least i don't condescend my readers by assuming they aren't smart enough to think :) .. Love you--- (I don't assume anything. I like to take my readers on a journey, depicting the events that took place as I viewed them. Talking about cows and referencing things that you never even blogged about and then filling your post with copious amounts of dumness only takes the reader out of the moment and breaks up the flow of the story. "love you") --- Dumbness has a "b" in it. (ass)

we're getting sick of eachother.....(5 days left...thank god) 5 days of hell.

We are crossing a bridge, and he starts talking about Water, and the flow. "Do yous lads believe in the flow?

Josh- I believe the flow is created as the symptom of a mind that is completely involved in the task at hand.

James- Hey lads, I'm going to go get something to eat.

Brandon-Yeah, and later we'll buy you a beer-

James-Don't buy anything. The man who invented buying water is a very dangerous man!


This morning as I went to the bathroom, he sprints out of his room half naked and says, LADS watch this. He then flushes the toilet before I use the bathroom and says. "I just thought you should see that."

(The first question he actually answered was when Josh asked what time it was. Then he made us a brilliant breakfast, which we ate on the roof, followed by tea and coffee and a long walk all over the city.)

He ate a few leaves today, took off his shirt because it was raining, and talks about logic alot.

Theres a lot more to this story but I dont feel like writing it and it would be way more fun to watch us retell the story than to read about it. so.. If I ever see you again, ask me and I'll tell you.


Essentially, James is a really great guy.. you all should be jealous that you haven't met him. (He's quite hospitable and full of questions and curiousity), and he's quite an adventure, but theres no better way to live life (...Yeah, its all about the flow, lads).

-Josh (and Brandon)